Despite believing to have a
positive outlook, we invariably weigh the cons first, consider several times
before sparing a compliment, and broadcast only the odds when someone counts on
us for advice. What’s more, we prefer needless sarcasm for humour, manage a wry
smile when something is genuinely funny, and believe deep down that the glass
is actually half empty.
We live in denial of our
inherent negativity for the most part, and often wonder why the world around is
so mean and reckless. At work, we never fail telling our juniors how meeting
deadlines can be a tough proposition, and not to think too ‘out of the box’ to
impress the boss. In short, we never tire telling all concerned how tough
things can be! Unlike dogs we may not be born eternal optimists, but positivity
is something that can be imbibed even if a tad forcibly; such as by trying to
tweak our sense of humour, the way we react to a given situation, by being more
pleasant and believing others too have a mind, and by smiling each time
somebody says ‘thank you’.
While positivity is a state
of mind, the answer lies in our perspective. Clinical psychologist and
lifestyle advisor Dr S.K Sharma shares his ideas on how to be a positive person
everyday.
Have the desire:
First thing first, to become
a positive person one must have a strong desire to be positive. And the desire
will come only if you are convinced that becoming a positive person will
enhance the quality of life. Positivity is like an aura, and you know you are a
positive person when people start trusting you, random people become polite
with you, colleagues at work start patronising you, and you start building
rapport easily.
Be realistic:
Do not try to become a saint.
Becoming a positive person does not mean you can never have any negative
emotion or encounter any negative situation. It is the overall attitude that
matters. Don’t get bogged down by failure, and disappointed when your
expectations are not met. Mentally, you should always be calculating a way out
of difficult situations come what may.
Experiment:
Be a keen observer. Use
everyday life incidents to see how you can manage them in a more positive
manner. These will serve as perfect instances to turn your outlook more
positive. For starters, contemplate how you could have better handled a
situation by being less hostile and more indulgent. Come up with five ways that
could have saved the day, and learn to take things at face value sometimes.
Remember, your ability to trust the other person also reflects your
genuineness.
Speech and body language:
Try and make positive words a
part of your daily lingo, and work on your body language in way that you come
across as friendly and approachable. Look amused when something is amusing,
laugh when something is funny, congratulate when someone’s bought something
new, and give others a chance to narrate their side of the story. Never think
you are the only interesting, knowing one around.
Company:
One way to becoming positive
is to seek positive company as both positivity and negativity are infectious.
If the people you spend most of your time with are grumpy or have a pessimistic
standpoint, you’ll find yourself mirroring the same emotions before a different
set of people inadvertently. In order to inculcate positivity it is imperative
that your friend circle is a positive, energetic, and a happy bunch. You’ll
find yourself carrying the same positivity everywhere you go.
Activities:
Do not remain idle and brood.
Take up positive activities with others or in isolation. Share a joke, narrate
a pleasant incident, take part in sporting activities, go for a run in the
evening after work, have healthy sex, and you’ll find yourself bubbling with
positive energy.
Take it easy:
Everyday life is bound to
give you shocks. Be prepared to minimise impact and shrug it off. For instance,
you may get too hassled everyday while driving to work or trying to park your
car. When you accept the fact that certain things cannot be changed, you’ll be
more at ease with yourself and those around too.
Learn yoga:
Says yoga teacher and
nutritionist, Abhilasha Kale, “Do pranayam everyday as it lets you focus and
meditate. Not only does it secrete happy hormones but also creates a sense of
awareness within you.” With the help of yogic asanas you control your
breathing, and by way of it, control your mind from wandering. Every time you
do yoga, you feel a surge of positive energy through your body that calms your
nerves, soothes your mind, elevates your mood, and not to mention enhances your
level of tolerance.
Maintain a diary:
Instead of recounting all
events of the day, filter out only the positive ones and make a note of them.
It could be anything trivial from your bus arriving on time, your mom cooking a
delicious breakfast, to remembering to pay the bills on time. When we look for
positivity in the little things that make our lives worthwhile, we leave no
room for negativity. “Try consciously practising this for 10 days, and at the
end of day ten when you read your diary back you’ll only have memories of all
the good things that happened to you,” she asserts.
Say ‘thank you’:
Thank god, thank your
parents, friends, and thank yourself for all the hard work you did, for
everything you achieved. Says Abhilasha, “Saying thank you frequently makes you
humble, and a humble person is seldom cynical.”
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Source: Times of India
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