DON’T LET YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIP RUIN YOUR LOVING FUTURE

   By: Ada Oyiboka

            

Am staring at the bright light in front of me and listening to MI and Waje’s One Naira and all I can think of is the past, am remembering all the fantastic lovely moments and promises I had with my ex. Standing here at this moment and looking at my side is a dashing promising young man whom I really like so much and have feelings for. I really can’t fix what it is or where am going but If you have ever carefully listened to the lyrics of that great love song then you will understand how I feel at the moment.

I love the chorus so much

Chorus (2x)
Whether na one naira
Whether na one million
Baby you got me
Baby you got me

Hook
Your the only one that I see
Mu na gi ga ñu garri
Whether or not you get money
I’ll stay with you if you’ll stay with me

Now for those of you who understand the song, let’s get into it. You have a past and it was fantastic so what happened? Why did you not walk down the aisle in that pretty white dress you always dream of? Why did you break up with him? Why is he now your ex?

Ladies, continuing to be a slave to your romantic past, letting it haunt every new relationship you start, and unconsciously refusing to be happy is detrimental. Stop assuming all the blame for what went wrong. Start accepting the fact that not all relationships are meant to work and try making your future relationship better.

It is not uncommon for relationships that have failed in the past to leave scars on your present or future romantic encounters. And the sad truth is that you could be the smartest, most successful, attractive woman on the planet. But no one but you can guarantee that you aren’t going to keep getting entangled in the ex situation.

But the truth is that your own decisions are probably what lead you to broken hearts and failed relationships.

If you would like for your old relationships to stop influencing your present or future ones, start by pulling out the magnifying glass people hate to direct to themselves and carefully analyze what went wrong. Was it the way you or your partner used to fight? Was he a no good man that you shouldn’t have dated in the first place? Was it your jealousy that ultimately led to your breakup? What else is there to blame? Figure it out. The sooner, the better.

Decide what are the qualities that your future partner should possess and figure out what sort of traits you refuse to accept in a partner ever again. Learning from your past mistakes and failed relationships should be at the top of your list if you ever want to find happiness.

Now it’s time to move on stop doubting yourself and your capacity to find a good man and keep him. Stop repeatedly asking yourself what went wrong and why can’t you be happy again. It is utterly exhausting and it won’t lead to anything positive or constructive. Instead, repeat to yourself that all relationships need to be worked on by two individuals, and that not everything that happened in the past should automatically be pinned to you.

Finally, don’t force yourself into another relationship just for the sake of being in a relationship. All breakups need a certain amount of time to be truly forgotten or gotten over, and if you speed things up for the wrong reasons, you will only be entering the same vicious cycle all over again. Take things slow and allow your new romantic relationship to genuinely blossom.

Listen to ONE NAIRA by MI and WAJE below: 

Photo Credit: www.blackloveandmarriage.com