The best stories are usually the true ones. The following story is
not only true but it is also revealing and remarkable. Please fasten your
seatbelts, sit back and patiently read it. You never know, you may learn
something from it. I certainly did. Here we go.T
Someone asked me the other day where I got the inspiration to
write my poem titled "The Power of a Woman". I told him that it came
from the Spirit of God and that I also drew on so many experiences that I had
had with women over the last 53 years of my life and the experiences of
many of my male friends too. All in all the poem, in my view, far from being an
attack on womanhood was in fact very charitable to them and confirmed the view,
held by many, that they are extremely complex beings that need to be treated
with tender love and care at all times.
Funnily enough most of my closest
friends today are women: this is because I find them to be far more loyal and
generally speaking much deeper, more far-sighted, more sensitive and more
discerning than men. But let me share something here that happened to me just a
few years ago when I was still in government and which shocked me beyond
belief. It also made me extremely wary of members of the opposite sex. A good
friend of mine who was, and still is a leading and well known
politician, was
put in detention during President Obasanjo's administration. He was facing some
very serious criminal charges (he has long since been cleared and acquitted by
the courts) and he was detained in prison for many months. I was reasonably
close to him at the time and I used to speak with him regularly when he was
there and I did all I could to help him with his case. I also used to visit his
family regularly to encourage them and do whatever I could for them.
He and his wife were very close and I always saw her as a dutiful and loyal wife. She seemed to be totally devoted to this man. Then came the shocker: one day when I went there I noticed that she seemed a little more restless and agitated than usual. She offered me a generous shot of vintage ''Remy Martin'' brandy and I reminded her that I don't drink hard liqour. I noticed that she was getting a little too familiar with me and she wore a flimsy gown that night. I was getting very uncomfortable and hot under the collar and told her that I had to leave. She then told me that she had prepared dinner and that she cooked it herself just for me and that she had told all the househelp to retire early and the children were all away at boarding school- in short, she told me that we were completely alone in the house. At this point I protested strongly and told her that I had to leave right away. She then told me that she had something to tell me and something to give me. I asked her to go ahead: she told me that I should stop worrying about her husband and that after all how do I know that he didn't commit the said crime? She told me that he is a very ''harsh and wicked man'' and that the only reason that she was still with him was because of the children and because he had plenty of money and power.
She then broke down and wept and said
that she was so unhappy in the marriage and that the only way she could be free
was for him to die or to be jailed. She said that she did not want him to ever
come out of detention and that that was her secret prayer. At this point there
were goose pimples all over my body and a very deep fear gripped me. I sensed
that I was in mortal danger and I started praying under my breath. I told her
that I did not want to hear such things and that I was leaving. She then got up
and ran to the front door and locked it from within. She told me that I could
not go until she had given me the gift she had promised me and that she would
now go upstairs to fetch it for me. At this point I had come to the conclusion
that this lady was mentally unstable and I actually feared for my life. Was it
a gun she wanted to bring or was the food drugged or poisoned? All sorts of
things were racing through my mind. She then went upstairs and came
back five minutes later and you know what? She was completely naked! She
told me that this was the gift she had for me: her body. She told me that she
had loved me from the first day she saw me and that she was ready to do
anything for me there and then. I was shocked beyond belief.
I then picked up my cell phone and sent
an SOS text to my chief security officer who, together with his team, were in
the compound by the cars. Immediately they cordoned off the house, brought out
their weapons, rushed to the front door and started demanding to see me. They
actually thought that perhaps I had been poisoned or shot or something. It was
at that point that the lady relented, unlocked the door and I was saved. I left
the place safely. What shocked me the most was that when the man was released I
went to see them and this lady was once again playing the role of the devoted
and dutiful wife. She was doting on him and showering him with love
and praises, which is, of course, how it should be. She even insisted on
leading the prayers thanking God over and over again for his release from detention
and final acquittal. I was happy for my friend but at the same time unhappy for
him. I was happy because he had been released but I was unhappy because he had
no idea about the type of wife he had.
I learnt something that day: I learnt
that when the bible says that “the heart of man is desperately wicked, who can
know it?" that it is true. I also learnt that when William Shakespeare
wrote that "there is no art that can see the minds construction in the
face" that he was right. And this goes both ways: men can be as deceptive
as women and more often than not they are. It is just that men are not nearly
as good at it and more often than not they are very obvious. You see it was not
the suggestion of infidelity that shocked me the most (because that is common
enough) but rather the deep-seated hatred that this woman secretly had for her
husband. That is what I found frightful. And as bad as that was, I am sure that
he must have brought that beast out in her by not treating her well over the
years. So perhaps it is not entirely her fault. I cannot judge her or either of
them (in any case who am I to judge anyone) but the morale of the tale is
surely this: we must treat our wives and our partners very well indeed and
then we can leave the rest to God.
We must give them a new reason to love
us anew every day. We must light up their fire, touch their souls and
lift up their senses. We must treat them as if they were princesses
and queens so that they will love us forever and not run to another or
secretly wish us dead. We must ensure that the beast does not rise up in
them by giving them all that they could possibly want, whether it be
emotionally, spiritually, physically or financially. My friend is still with
his wife and they appear to be very happy too. I am happy for them and
particularly for his blissful ignorance concerning his wife's inner-most
thoughts. Well maybe she has changed her mind about him now and maybe she truly
loves him again. I really wouldn't know and that is none of my business.
I have never spoken about that incident
with that lady and I never will. Whenever we see each other we just smile and
say hello: she knows that her secret is safe with me but I do pray for both her
and her husband. I pray for their marriage because we are all vulnerable from time
to time and we all have our moments of weakness. And neither will I ever tell
anyone the names of this interesting couple. My lips are sealed forever on that
and neither is it relevant. May God help us all, particularly we men, for we
have no idea about just how deep, powerful and complex women can be. That
is the power of a woman! And it is partly that shocking experience that led me
to write that highly celebrated and controversial poem.
For those that are interested in
reading it and learning more about the fairer sex just google the title or look
it up in the poems column of my website- www.femifanikayode.org.
You never know- you may learn something new. I certainly did. Shalom.
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