One of the most
common questions we hear is, "How do we make our relationship work?"
The answers are complicated, varied, and, after a while, can start to sound
like muddled platitudes. But these commonplace sayings get repeated because
they work. With this in mind, we pulled together 11 clichés that, in fact,
reveal simple, tried-and-true advice for having a healthy, happy relationship.
Read on and let us know what you think:
1.
Mind your manners. "Please," "thank you" and
"you're welcome," can go a long way in helping your partner remember
that you respect and love him
and don't take him for granted.
2.
Variety is the spice of life. Studies have
shown that dullness can lead to loss of satisfaction with
a relationship. Trying something new can be as simple as visiting an unfamiliar
restaurant or as grand as a backpacking trip through Calabar. Discoveries you
make together will keep you feeling close.
3.
The couple that plays together, stays together. Find
a sport or hobby that you both love (no, watching TV does not count) and make
that a priority in your relationship. Camping, biking, building model trains...
whatever it is, find something you enjoy doing together.
4.
Fight right. In order to have productive arguments, keep
these rules in mind. Don't call your spouse names. When things get really
tough, take a break from the argument. Let the other person finish his/her
sentences. Don't initiate a discussion when you're angry. 5 Things That
(Unexpectedly) Turn Men Off
5.
I'll scratch your back if you scratch mine. No one likes
demands but everyone can appreciate a compromise. If you want your lover to do
something and you're not sure he'll be agreeable, the quickest way to avoid a
confrontation is to sweeten the deal. For example: "Sure, I'll watch
Monday Night Football if you take me to see the next movie of my choice."
6. Two heads are better than
one. Being in a relationship basically means you've made a merger; you've
not only joined assets but inherited the other's problems as well. Rather than
looking at his problems as merely his own, tackle them together. For example,
if he's gaining weight, rather than pushing him to diet on his own, enroll in
an exercise program together.
7. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Maintain
your own friendships and occasionally have a night out without your significant
other. Doing things without your s.o. not only makes you miss him or her, it
also keeps you sane. And, in case the relationship doesn't work out, you'll
still have your friends.
8. Sound it out. It other words: communicate! Talking out the
tough subjects—money, religion, fidelity, raising kids—will not be the most fun
you've had, but it'll be valuable.
10. Keep your eyes on the prize. Yes, he forgot your co-worker's name for the tenth time, but it
probably doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. If you keep your perspective
fixed on the goal—to be in a happy, functioning partnership—you're less likely
to get tangled up in every minor annoyance. Remember, you both want the same
thing.
11. Quitters never win. Find
a ritual and keep it alive, no matter what. Whether it's always kissing each other good night, renewing wedding vows every year, sleeping in as late
as you want once a month or committing to having sex once a week, pick something that makes
you both feel good and stick to it, even when you're tempted to skip.
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