LEARN HOW TO SAY NO : 8 TIPS

Do you have difficulty saying no to other people? I’ll admit it, saying no at the earlier stage of my life was really difficult .Whenever someone has a request; I’ll say yes where I can help it. Part of this is because I don’t like to leave people disappointed.  As I grew older, I realized the necessity of saying “NO”. Presently if there are any reasons to say no to anyone I honestly don’t waste time in saying it.

·         When you say yes to something you don’t enjoy, you say no to things that you love

·         When you say yes to a job you don’t love, you say no to your dreams

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When you say yes to someone you don’t like, you say no to a fulfilling relationship

·         When you say yes to working overtime, you say no to your social life

There are many things I have said no to others before in my life and that I continue to say no to on a regular basis. The regular and difficult one has to do with buying aso-ebi. Please my darling ladies if you do not have the money; just say NO. Trust me it will not kill you. Always check your budget before you spend and end up regretting every bit of it. However, If you have so much money, you can even collect aso-ebi from people you do not know.

Although It’s an ongoing process to learn how to say no but as long as you realize the importance of saying no, you’re on your way there. Here are my 8  ready tips on how to say no—they will come in handy whether you’re saying no to your boss, a friend, a colleague, a family member or a stranger.

1. Be clear of your vision

Think about what your vision is: be it for your life, for your career, for your relationships, or for that particular situation you are dealing with. Once you know it, it’ll be extremely easy to say no, because now you have a clear reason to do so. The clearer you are (of your vision), the easier it will be to say no, because now you will know what you want to say yes to.

2. Know the implications of saying yes

We normally say yes to the little requests streaming in because it may seem like a small deal. Just chip in and help if we can – what’s the problem? It doesn’t take much time, maybe just 10-15 minutes, or 20 minutes max. Right?

Whenever you get a request, think twice before  you say yes or no. What’s going to happen if you say yes to it? What are the long-term implications? What is there to gain? What are you going to lose if you agree? Do you really have to say yes? What limiting beliefs do you have that are making you say yes?

I believe that time is more precious than money, because while you can earn back money, you can never get back time. Because of that, I really value my time – it’s my most precious commodity and I’m very conscious of how I spend it. You should too.

3. Realize that saying no is okay

Saying no is okay. We keep thinking that it’s not okay, that the other person will feel bad, that we’re being evil, that people will be angry, that we’re being rude, etc. While these stem from good intentions in us, the thing is most of these fears are self-created. If the person is open-minded, he/she will understand when you say no.

There have been past situations where I was worried about saying no, because I was afraid the person would be disappointed, or that he/she would be unhappy, and bridges would be burned. And while it took me time to convey the message, nothing bad happened from saying no.

Saying no is okay and it’s part and parcel of life.

4. Use the medium you’re most comfortable with

Use the appropriate medium to communicate the message – face-to-face, instant messaging, emailing, SMS, phone call or even others. There is no one best medium because I’ve used different mediums before and it depends on the context and your relationship with the person.

5. Keep it simple

Keep it simple – let the person know that you can’t do it, and give a short explanation why you’re saying no. Sometimes a simple “No it’s okay”, “I’m sorry it doesn’t meet my needs at the moment”, “I have other priorities and I can’t work on this at the moment” or “Perhaps next time” work just fine. There’s no need to over-explain as it’s not relevant for the party anyway, and it might lead to the other party trying to challenge your stance instead when all you want to do is to communicate a message of “No, thank you”. If there are certain things which you’re open to discuss/negotiate on, put them up for discussion here.

6. Be respectful

Many don’t say no because they feel it’s disrespectful, however it’s about how you say it rather than the act of saying no. Be respectful in your reply, value the other party’s stance and you’ll be fine.

7. Make yourself less accessible

If you face the situation where too many people keep asking you for help and it’s just overwhelming you, make yourself less accessible. Don’t respond immediately to every single request, because it just sends the message that you’re always around all the time for help, which may not be true. Instead take a longer time to revert (as your schedule permits), be more concise with your replies, and limit your availability. This way, others will value your time more.

8. Delay your response

If you’re not keen on the request, delaying your reply is a way of showing lack of interest.  Just like a guy trying to ask you out on a date and you are not interested in him. Simply ignore him every time.